She came to me after I had been abused for two years and told me words I never expected to hear, that she too was being abused by the same family member. But both she and her sister did tell their stories. The two families have ceased having contact. In Living for Today, readers find that Erin cultivated the strength to face her abuser . Merryn said the abuse only stopped because her family moved away. Her friend slept through the assault, and Merryn remained silent. My second abuser, my cousin, came from a family of all boys. After her parents decided to move Erin's abuse ended but only brought her that much closer to her next abuser, an older teenage cousin who lived . Did you ever wonder, or ever ask him, why he did what he did? I remember immediately after answering the interviewer I said "That's the reason I didn't tell before, I kept it to myself because I thought no one would believe me." Erin Merryn (Author) Format: Kindle Edition See all formats and editions Kindle $12.99 Read with Our Free App Paperback $16.10 35 Used from $2.70 5 New from $12.50 Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Erin is now on a mission to persuade all 50 states to pass Erins Law, which mandates that all public schools use age-appropriate curricula to teach students how to tell on anyone who touches or attempts to touch their private parts. She earned a master's degree from Aurora University in social work. We need to start teaching kids this, she said. But when it came to being sexually abused, there was nothing. We've had an unprecedented change for our Gingerbread House Partners in Prevention 2021 Luncheon and we couldn't be more excited! Erin Merryn is a powerful speaker and advocate for countless, faceless children and adults in our country who have similarly suffered sexual abuse. Requiring personal body safety education in public schools. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. (2013) Who encouraged you to keep talking, to keep fighting? Behind those numbers are the faces of innocent children whose childhoods were shattered by actions of evil and sickness. These monsters are living in all of our backyards., (Tip: Offender Locator is a great app to have on your smart phone.). But instead of destroying it, she ended up emailing her five-page account of anger and rage to her cousin, who was now attending college. Get the best experience and stay connected to your community with our Spectrum News app. Erins ongoing abuse with her friends uncle was over. (2016) Consider This Self - Author and Children's Advocate. The abuse continued and Erin struggled with the secret that hung over her, a secret that eventually destroyed a family and took Erin's innocence. Little did I realize, that by moving, I was getting that much closer to the next perpetrator in my life, she said. Before . These days hes almost 9 and I dont really tag along to play dates anymore, but every time I drop him off, I tell him, if you have to use the bathroom, lock the door and have privacy. Victims of abuse know their perpetrators 80% to 90% of the time, says David Finkelhor, director of the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire. The founder of Erin's Law. The same year I was born in 1985 was the first year the development of the first CAC in America was born in Alabama. She has appeared on Oprah, Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, Fox, MSNBC, TLC documentary Breaking the Silence, CBS This Morning, Katie Couric, Tamaron Hall, 700 Club, and over 200 local media stations. Merryn: What caused me to come forward was unfortunately finding out that my little sister was also being abused. Merryn: There is so much shame and stigma attached to sexual abuse. We live in a society that doesn't want to even address this issue. Are you afraid you will lose business? Merryn: My resilience took a lot of psychological help growing up as a kid, teen, and young adult. It was the first federal bill passed funding sexual abuse prevention education. Read more about Erin Merryn on her Erin's Law Facebook page and her website. These can seem like powerful forces to go up against. It is when they hear my story of how I was raped, and how my abusers controlled the situation by being the only ones talking to me about what was happening, that they "get it." She explained to her cousin that she didnt want to publish it out of revenge, rather to help the millions of other sexual assault survivors. Visit sheriffalerts.com to find out if there are sex offenders in your area. Merryn worked with U.S. Therapists (and) an amazing school psychologist in high school really helped me heal. A safe touch could be a high five or hug and an unsafe touch is someone touching you in the areas covered by your swimsuit, or your private parts, Merryn said. She has made it her mission in life to get this legislation passed in all 50 states. Erin Merryn, Stolen Innocence: Triumphing Over a Childhood Broken by Abuse: A Memoir 0 likes Like "Brian, this letter is probably coming as a complete surprise to you, but I didn't feel I should warn you since you never warned me when you were going to use my body for own damn pleasures. As an adult, she's reclaimed the voice her. She wasn't always successful. Erin Merryn (born February 2, 1985) is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. Merryn spoke to members of the Ohio SenatePrimary and Secondary Education Committee of how she was sexually abused as a child. [7] She published her diary detailing her cousin's abuse and her own recovery, relapse and reconciliation in book form as Stolen Innocence in 2005. I wish I could say that Erins story is uncommon, but that is far from the truth its happening right here in our own backyard, Bucco said. I remember reading this thinking, they dont teach us that in school. Sharing those details can be difficult because as survivors, they bring us back to the place where we endured the horror. Victims are those who don't survive. He threatened her to stay silent so she kept her secrets locked away in her childhood diary. Merryn says starting when she was six, she was sexually abused by a neighbor, then at 11 by an older cousin. I had only ever been told no one (would) believe me, I feared ruining our large extended family when they learned a family member (teenage cousin) was molesting my sister and I. Sixteen years ago, on March 29, 1998, my sister broke her silence to me. I came from a good home, two parents, good schools, safe neighborhood, etc. But at age 11, Merryn's second nightmare began. She began to think about all the other prevention classes and drills she learned in school: how to say no to drugs, what to do in case of a fire, what to do in case of a tornado, how to never answer the door if parents arent home. Forgiving him did not mean what he did was right, she stressed. This law requires personal body safety taught to children Pre-K to 12th grade through an age appropriate curriculum. Almost all states that have passed it are using the program, while some states are deciding how their schools will implement It into the curriculum.. He doesnt sleep out ever. Children learn all kinds of safety lessons in schools, like how to deal with natural disasters, fires and strangers. Author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today EN. He was free, but the rage inside Erin remained. Erin Merryn is among the many that came across the story. From the age of 11 to 13, I was repeatedly sexually abused at the hands of a family member, an older cousin, she said. Now I have somebody I love and trust abusing me," Merryn said. I just wanted to get it over with.She was a forensic interviewer who had been trained to interview children who had reported abuse. Merryn advocates for sexual abuse victims. Sexually abused as a. It was a detailed account of how an officer came to her school to talk about stranger danger. She was honored for her efforts in 2012 as one of Glamour Magazines 2012 Women of the Year. COLUMBUS, Ohio - Erin Merryn, a Chicago-area resident behind an Ohio bill that would require public schools to provide age-appropriate sexual abuse prevention instruction, told a Senate. Again, she started having trouble in school, becoming distant and withdrawn. In a Q&A with Alaska Dispatch before boarding her flight north, Merryn wasn't shy about sharing the difficulties she's experienced, including a suicide attempt, or the one thing that happened to make her finally tell someone she was being hurt. Here's a glimpse of her life and why she's on a quest for social change. After Bailey's passing, she adopted a kitten named Carrot. --TV host Katie Couric, 1992, 2002, and 2006 Woman of the Year.After suffering years of sexual abuse for six years of her childhood Erin broke her silence when she was 13 at a Children's Advocacy Center. But where were the eight ways on how to "get away and tell today?" But what followed was depression,an eating disorder and a suicide attempt. But instead of telling everyone to vote against it, she told everyone to vote in support of this bill. Those were just the number of children who broke their silence that year. Eventually though the conversation has to shift and that question that I will never forget. Statistics show that one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused by the age of 18. Acting out both at home and in school, she was given an IEP (Individual Education Plan) and was told she was just going through a phase; that her parents brief separation was the probable root cause. Erin has spoken at over 250 CAC events.In 2008 she began writing legislators to require personal body safety be taught to kids in school. My mom was a mess, that day she probably cried for 10 straight hours, looking at my dad saying, we missed all the red flags, her grades, she was depressed, Erin recalled. Its word for word my diary from the ages of 10 until my senior year of high school. Merryn cautions that you can never just go by how many registered sex offenders are in your area. I also learned in group how to create a safe place to escape to when memories flooded my memory.While I was not ready at thirteen and fourteen to immediately share the journey of what all I went through because I was still too ashamed the Children's Advocacy Center laid the foundation in my healing to one day let that voice be heard. I had all the warning signs of an abused kid -- labeled behavior(ally) and emotionally disturbed, given an IEP (Individual Education Plan) for that behavior, I had anger problems, put my hand through a window weeks after being raped at 7 years old and threw tantrums on the floors in school. Motel management is NOT obligated to tell guests sex offenders are next door. Nightmares. The girls were brought to a Children's Advocacy Center where they had to tell their stories to complete strangers, something Erin wasnt looking forward to at all. I found hope and healing there and people that believed me. It would be many more years until that voice would become the strong, confident woman that I have become. Erin Merryn's memoir is about how her life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted."I thought when the abuse stopped I could move on with my life. She was named Glamour Magazine Woman of the Year in 2012 and a People magazine Hero Among Us for her tireless work promoting Erin's Law nationwide with a mission to our keep children safe by educating them about personal body safety. And for the next year and a half, repeatedly told me, This is our little secret. In the end, he was given seven years of probation, 1,000 hours of community service, he attended a two-year sex offender program, and couldnt come within 100 feet of Erin or her sister. Erin says she believes everyone is born with a purpose and she has found hers through the events that have occurred in her life. Confronting him empowered me and eventually allowed me to forgive him when he wrote a letter apologizing. Its somebody they know and trust.. In 2014 People magazine named her one of fifteen women changing the world along with Oprah and Hillary Clinton. Visiting Alaska this week, Erin Merryn is a long way from home, and even farther from the torturous past she endured as a sexually abused child. I was a senior in high school when I published my first book, my childhood diary where I kept my secrets of abuse with my cousin locked away. It is my hope hearing my message today youll see the importance of what Im here to talk to you about, said Erin Merryn. We live in a society that keeps it hushed and (there is) so much taboo around it; people are afraid to speak up and say this happened to them. But her parents thought it was because of health problems she was having at the time. I can spend the rest of my life hating him, or I can forgive him and do something positive about this thing that continues to be a negative thing in my life, she said. On Thursday, Quinn signed "Erin's Law" at the Children's Advocacy Center of North and Northwest Cook County in Hoffman Estates. Realizing I was not a fault and learning to let go of the guilt. ALBANY, N.Y. - The Independent Democratic Conference was joined today by Assemblyman Jeff Dinowitz, (D-Bronx), and nationally recognized anti-abuse advocate and survivor Erin Merryn to hail the passage of important legislation to stamp out child sexual abuse in New York. When I was six years old, I was sexually abused at a neighbor's house. EN RU CN DE ES. From the time my son Jack was around 3, I began having the private parts talk with him. This went on for a month before police got involved. In 2010, Merryn began a crusade to get Erin's Law passed across America. Erins Law encourages research based curriculum, Merryn said. 25 $. The case never went to trial, and Brian received some counseling, but no punishment. Erin Merryn, 30, a child sexual abuse survivor and creator of the legislation, said schools generally fail to give young students adequate awareness and a voice on the issue of sexual abuse. Do I know the difference between the truth and a lie? Thats precisely why she does what she does. Info here from RAINNwww.rainn.org/news/president-signs-measures-support-state-action-prevent-and-address-child-sexual-abuseErin's media appearances have included Access Hollywood 2020Tamron Hall 2020HLN 2020CBS Morning Show 2019The Morning Blend 2019CNN 2018, HLN 2018, BUILD 2018 TLC Breaking the Silence Documentary TODAY show 2015, Nancy Grace 2015, ABC Nightline 2015, CNN 2015, Dr. Drew 2015, Inside Edition 2015, MSNBC 2015, Oprah Winfrey Network 2014, Windy City Live 2014, MSNBC 2013, FOX 2013, Katie Couric 2013, Oprah Life Class 2012, CNN 2012, Issues with Jane Velez Mitchell 2011, Oprah Winfrey Show October 2010, Montel Williams in April/July 2006, and Good Morning America in May 2006. Chris Newlin - National Children's Advocacy Center I also tell parents don't give childrens private parts pet names. I was keeping this secret with my best friend because he was also abusing her, Merryn said. Survivors need to know they have nothing to be ashamed of. The first abuser, our neighbor, is someone I think who did this to any girl he had access to. Did anything make you an attractive target, or particularly vulnerable? When Merryn eventually confided in Ashley about what had happened, her friend was not surprised; in fact, the scene was depressingly familiar to her. It brings it all back to the surface. My sister and I told our parents the next day (and) we were referred to the Children's Advocacy Center by police detectives to be interviewed. Sunshine and a few clouds. She is an activist against child sexual abuse. Use safe and unsafe touch. The look in this mans eyes, the color shirt he was wearing and the last thing he said to me, Dont you dare tell anybody. I went to bed night after night crying into my pillow having nightmares, and keeping my secrets locked away in my childhood diary., Merryn found her voice at 13 when her younger sister said the words shell never forget: Brians gross!. Erin's Law was the first law passed in the United States requiring sexual abuse prevention education to be taught to students in school every year, and it was subsequently passed in 38 U.S. states before being signed into federal law. Merryn travels the country bearing witness to what happened to her in hopes of encouraging states to enact laws requiring sexual abuse education in schools. It is currently passed in 37 states as of January 2021. She has now dedicated her life to protecting our nations children. As a result, she has been interviewed by many major news organizations and TV programs beginning in 2006, on Good Morning America, Oprah, CNN, Today Show, Fox, Katie Couric, Nightline, TLC, OWN, MSNBC, People Magazine, Time Magazine, Glamour Magazine, USA Today, London Times, New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and dozens more local media. Sorry, there are no recent results for popular commented articles. Merryn travels the country advocating for children who are victims of sexual assault. At no time should the school provide the information directly to the student (unless the student is over 18). My sister and I were the only girls that he was around all the time. Again, she was told to keep quiet, that no one would believe her if she said anything and that she had no proof. Ill never be abused again, its just all gonna go away.. Is there anything about your life circumstances that you think made you a target? Instead of putting their daughters through further emotional trauma of a criminal trial, Erins parents decided not to press charges. Mar 22, 2018 Erin Merryn, survivor of sexual abuse as a child and the driving force behind Erin's Law, speaks to an auditorium full of students at Metamora Township High School last Monday, March 12. Walking up to a door with so many racing thoughts afraid I was not going to be believed, wondering what I was going to be asked, and so ashamed to even think about sharing the dirty secrets. My favorite story is out of my own state of Illinois (One lawmaker) had been against school mandates her entire career, and (the sponsor) warned me, she is going to get on her mic and go on about how this should not be passed, schools should not be mandated to do things, etc. As an adult, she's reclaimed the voice her abusers tried to silence. Nightmares and flashbacks continued, and she started harming herself. It ended only after a chance conversation between Merryn and one of her sisters, who blurted out one day that their cousin Brian was "gross." She is an activist against child sexual abuse. The law was passed in a number of states,[7] with New York becoming the 37th in 2019. For so many years I stayed angry and bitter towards him. [3], "I was not educated on not keeping secrets if someone was hurting me. My abuse first happened at weeks shy of my seventh birthday by a neighbor it went on until age 8 and a half. The revelation caused tension in the family. Alaska Dispatch: Let's talk about two words we hear a lot when covering sexual abuse stories: victim and survivor. She is not ashamed of the sexual abuse she endured as a child and, instead, feels inspired to put a face and voice on childhood sexual abuse. Read more Merryn says a few months ago, a local . I know that when theres one in four girls and one in six boys (being abused) Im not the only one standing in this room that this has happened to, Erin said of the statistics. Erin said he would occasionally downplay what he did, but he never denied it. Throughout her school years, Erin Merryn of Schaumburg, Ill., received plenty of lessons in the dangers her elders thought she could encounter during her childhood. Choosing to forgive has led me to live for today. See her personal website at ErinMerryn.net. Known For. InDecember 2015 President Obama signed thefederal version of Erin's Law providing federal funding for schools to use. Erin is a mom to three little girls. Buccos legislation has received support from prominent victims rights advocates and support organizations, including Morris County advocate Richard Pompelio; and Patrice Lenowitz, founder and executive director of The Nurtured Parent Support Group for Survivors of Domestic Abuse, a Bergen County organization serving survivors and protective parents across the state. The only message I got as a child came from my abusers and that was to stay silent or else, she said. "It's something that is going to be with me the rest of my life," Erin said. I wouldn't have quit my job four years ago as a master's level counselor to go after this had I not been lead by the Lord. You will be believed.. This law could have given me the ability to know I would be believed, that this is not a secret to keep, and how to report it. In 2013 Governor Quinn signed Erins Law mandating child sexual abuse education in all Illinois public schools. The two continued to correspond for seven months. The center provided me a safe place to connect with people who understood unlike my friends in school who did not understand what I had gone through. I pull out my sixth grade DARE card and tell lawmakers I knew the eight ways to say "no" to drugs and have never tried even a cigarette and I am nearly 30 years old. Since going public 10 years ago, I have had no contact with him. However, Merryn said this time the perpetrator was an older cousin, someone she had viewed as a brother figure. Im glad he gets body boundaries and safety and Ill be pounding it into his head as long as I can. She was also afraid she would lose her innocence. Erin's Law has passed in 21 states and is pending in 22 others. I finally got, after seven months, what I had been looking for: an apology. Oh and of course my cousin's voice echoing through my head "No one will believe you, you have no proof, you will destroy this family, this is our secret!" Merryn was as bewildered as she was frightened. The law has now passed in 37 states. Then something happened that no one saw coming: he confessed. Today there are more then 700 Children Advocacy Centers in America and millions of children have walked through those doors.Before there were CAC's children were interviewed numerous times in places such as police stations. Sexually abused and raped from age 6-8 by an adult neighbor Erin was threatened to stay silent by her abuser. I left all the fragmented sentences, misspelled words, because I wanted readers to hear the voice of a young child.. But nobody asked those important questions. Alaska Dispatch: When you broke your silence and spoke up, was it frightening? Merryn spoke to members of the Ohio Senate Primary and Secondary Education Committee of how she was sexually abused as a child. Erin Merryn is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, An Unimaginable Act, Bailey No Ordinary Cat, and The Diary of a Cat Named Carrot. He continued to abuse her on and off for nearly two years, she says, often at holidays and celebrations with her close-knit extended family. Two of those children were my sister and I. (2012) Fox News Self - Author of 'An Unimaginable Act'. The abuse continued until she was almost 9. Because so often, people that are being abused do not report it until theyre in their 30s, 40s and 50s cause nobody ever gave them the message onhow tospeak up and tell, Merryn said. She is at war against this silent evil that is lurking in the shadows and is devoted to opening the eyes of the public to the tens of thousands of children who are being abused right now silently in our own communities and backyards without our knowledge. Alaska Dispatch: So often we hear about "helpers" who encouraged a victim to come forward, or reported for him or her. Erins Law soon caught on nationwide. Every six minutes a child is sexually abused in the U.S. One in every 4 girls and 6 boys will be sexually assaulted before the turn 18 over 90% by a family member or friend. "A Child's Best Defense Is Her Voice. Merryn: This wasn't bad luck. MORE: Moms and dads, can we talk about stranger danger? Merryn: I didn't expect a response back from my cousin because my letter was very harsh filled with so much anger and rage. Her testimony was met with a standing ovation. Erin first gained public attention for this cause when she self-published her first book while still a senior in high school in Schaumburg IL, entitled: Stolen Innocence: Triumphing Over a Childhood Broken by Abuse: A Memoir. Merryn: I was terrified. My goal in life is to give a voice to the voiceless and put these predators out of business, she said. (2013) CNN Newsroom Self - Child Abuse Survivor. She was taught how to ride out a tornado, instructed in the eight steps for turning down illegal drugs, and told how to react to a friendly stranger who might try to abduct her. The day I left that place I took a piece of my life back, and that was my voice. Says Merryn: "[Ashley] made me pinky promise not to say anything. Erin Merryn was an innocent child of six when her best friend asked her to sleepover. So be careful sending little Tommy for ice at the machine down the hall and inform teens who often book motels after prom. Well, something shocking happened. Putting the lives of children in danger and possibly taking their innocence is worth it? See all See top. will then mail or hand the parents or responsible adult family member the Megans Law information. More than 90 percent of children who are sexually abused know their attacker, Bucco said with conviction. Merryn: Many don't realize that there are 42 million survivors in America of child sexual abuse. With every passing week, and with every visit, Erin gets closer to her goal. "Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, I met my best friend in kindergarten. Erin, now a 33-year-old wife and mother of two with one on the way, has spent the last eight years travelling to every state advocating for abused children. While the party was going on, and my friend's mom was in the house, this neighbor cornered me in a bathroom and abused me. Erin's Law, named after Erin Merryn, has passed in 36 states and is pending in the other 14. How and when did you do it first? I often say victims are those who are killed by their attackers. She is dedicated to taking the stigma and shame away from sexual abuse and giving survivors the courage to speak up as she has. When Erin Merryn was a child, she was sexually abused by two people she knew and trusted, including a family member. 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