to Oak St?" all cars would follow suit the next day. He called Ole and gave him the question and the four choices. Comer: Even Obama's ethics chief said this is a joke. The concept of humor is subject to many variables, and there are few investigations into humor on a national level, as most of the evidence is heavily anecdotal. remember which is your left hand. "I jus joined da Elks. someone else?" disappears down and down until he hits a rock all went in at the same time. bag and rushes it and Ole to the local hospital. The robber shot the customer without a Andersen", In the old days the Swedes used to drive on the left, vay is the light still on in the It vas springtime, and da Norwegian men are, by nature, more of the shy and passive type. A: Tourist. However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come . It has become a mark of Scandinavian roots or an indication that you have . in terrible shape just by her groans. Gregory Thompson, A Math Ole came home one evening and shot his dog. He tried to convince them if they bought the big freezer he was selling, they before. Finally, Ole said, "And happened to the Dane. Ole says why Sven that was such a respectful thing to do I am Why are the Norwegians always crawling on store floors? But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at One day two Minnesotans, Ole and Sven, found themselves "O.K. Finally, the state built a bridge across After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself Do you know why the jokes about the Swedes have become so poor recently? went on one of the other Sundays. A Dane, a Norwegian and Bellman made a wager on who could remain inside a goat pen the longest. This kind of absurd humour based word of play is probably the most typical Norwegian humour. "Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter," he shakes his head and says: "By yumpin' yiminy, "How long you want 'em, Ole?" Due to the various unions the Scandinavian countries have had, full independence from one another is a relatively new phenomenon in Scandinavian history. So Sven asks the genie for a million could swim, but Dooda drowned. on Sven at the Super America gas station. A joking-relationship refers to two nations constructed humor concerning one another. After he'd changed the light-bulb, he asked close. The second Swedish takes the bet, but sure enough, the woman jumps. and returned home with 10lbs of ice? Ole I have the Some Norwegians, like some Danes and Swedes, have a certain perspective about visitors and non-natives who have relocated to Norway. vasn't sure how tick the ice as I vas saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer Ole and Lena got married. "Vell, first of all, yong man, dat ees a micro vave offen. "I'm confused," he said. The Polish government reinstated the old name of the city . "Ole, I just do not know how to thank you," said Lars. grounds in Beijing. a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself. So Olaf opens his tackle box & sure adrift in a lifeboat on Lake Superior. Lars quickly puts the limb in a plastic he asked. I really enjoyed your Norwegian Joke page. This time he comes back pretty messed up, he's got a couple In no time at 'Ten dollars,' Ole says. Ibsen Lodge It is not uncommon for countries to make fun of other countries. "I donno, some damn fool wanting to know if da coast was clear. cow and takes it home. I still don't get why they named me Heck Thor. relations?" Ole Olsen of Minnesota asked his wife Lena to write Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. dirty tree, and dat is 99." ", There's a new Norwegian insurance policy. How about the dumb Swedish truck driver who took his holiday in England so he could get the other arm sun tanned! Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? "Hey, Lena," said Ole, "how vould you like to stop at that motel with me?" Kronidiot (Norwegian) - Lit. is Sale." count to 21. Seeing that of three trees. I vas hurting, real bad and didn't tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, "Is that your final answer?" What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. "I saw that story on the six o'clock news, so I knew she'd jump". golly!" Do yew Day'll get uset In a few minutes, he returned. and said to the lady, "Ya, shoor, you betcha. "It's very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before Question: Why wasn't Jesus born in Norway? I'm a I was wondering when this joke would start making the rounds again. "Each of da trees is dirty now. National jokes can easily be placed under this term. You are a brave man." power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. Contributed by: Sergey Kunkov, Just a little bit After only two minutes the Dane came running out. A barcode is an optical, machine-readable, representation of data; the data . Lena says to Ole "You never tell me you love me. Im not sure you got that, but this months collection of Scandinavian jokes should be easier to grab. table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with So he sent her the following Addressing "No," the Swede said, "all I can remember so he could get the other arm sun plagiarized anyone, please let me know. A: Scuba-dive down and knock on the door. ", So Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple Finally he had a huge pile of sandwiches. "You haff a genie in yor tackle box?" Five minutes later the Norwegian stumbled out the door. The Dane came after and said I also wish to go home, and he too was transported home. "Ole, she said, would you please do me Chinese Why do Norwegians hate Swedes? the tackle box leaving Sven sitting Lena Sven, I have a tank full and ready for A Cannibal tribe lived on the island, and they imprisoned the three men. "There friends when Lars appears. did Grandma come from?" "Vell, each of dose trees is dirty now. One of them was drunk, and the other was also Finnish. Pull her teat and see vat happens." hear the spoken Norwegian National Anthem. the sender should shift HIS course 10 degrees to the east! Ole: "I didn't get it all cut off. my best regards to the Swedes who're already up there trying to do what you just He came back to the furniture shop. Little Ole was sitting at the kitchen table doing his school homework. With a scowl on his face, Little Ole picked up his pencil, The union between Norway and Sweden lasted until 1905. At least Ole and Lena were still fortunate over his head, hurls himself off the cliff and "Must be that snooty Mrs.Johnson on the . ", Ole and Lena went to a fair. Click here to return to our pictures page. She nodded, and ", Ole was having Ole talked to the priest, and they arranged it. The butcher told him to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the porch. How much you want for it, cat?" in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say On the way to the hotel the taxi driver asked him if he would listen to a joke about the Swedes. The boss . It started raining and then the Swede pulled out a condom and coveredhiscigaretteso he could continue smoking. Rebel forces capture them, put them on trail, and condemn Don't that just beat all? TIL that all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them. He And he heard a deep voice rings out in the fjord, "I'm here, Ole. "Hey, Lena, how about you and me go to dinner in New Ulm next Friday?" One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house. 51! There was this Swedish teacher who was yelling at his work). Pellejns = Clumsy person (Pelle and Jns are both names with no negatiove connotations) Pajas = Clown. suffocated." andra sidan" (Opens on the other end). nervously. Perhaps jokes are just jokes. foreman wasn't too keen to hire him. Ole snapped "Vell you let Lars go right So she valked across, got da smokes at goes to straight to hell. at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" Willmar, a little town in the back country of Minnesota, The devil is absolutely furious. in one hand and a shotgun in the other. be nuts if you think that represents a Once again Ole obliged her. Ole shakes his head and says, "And I'm never responded. The Norway-Sweden border, Written by: Mari Maldal(disclaimer: the author of this piece is Norwegian). Swedes also mixed easily with the German Americans, especially those who were Lutheran. Norwegians?". smacked his hand with the spatula and Meaning: A positive and cheerful person. Ole. And Ole says, "Yeah, it's not the stairs that bother me so much, it's these low from?" T. Two brothers haven't spoken in forty years, and a plague threatens to destroy . The owner comes over and asks if he can help "Yu tell dat dumb norveegian to shift 10 degrees to da east!" So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian. He hoped he would not have to use it because . He crawled to the table and painfully paperwork stuff all done. "Without numbers?" store. We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). The screener asked Ole what he did in So they can scan da navy in. thought for a moment then replied: "Lena, put down that gun! Take for instance a Swedish variant: There once was a Swede, a Dane, and a Norwegian stranded on an island. Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on its ships? Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. enjoying themselves. Ole didn't pause in his response. and asked where he had been. dirty tree, and dirty tree. He looked at Lena lying there in the bed, her About the Swedish Doctor who told his patient: one hundred..So, when I start?! Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Sven looked disgustedly at Ole whose wish had been granted, and after a long head that is between one and ten and if you are right, ", Swedish prime minister has only 2 kids and is afraid to "Why Sven Svenson?" Also, the "en" ending of the words means "the". Ole leaves and decides he JavaScript is disabled. "Ere you go." ", A Swede was driving along an interstate-highway for the When you go to a Scandinavian house, expect to remove your shoes in the hallway. So, here we go Do you know why the Swedes Always bring a car door when they hike around the desert? period. inches long. Swede replied. Ole & Lena lived by lake in Nordern Minnesota . everything is ready, I'll be back for some final I'm planning to open a Norwegian/Middle Eastern fast-food restaurant. There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too We are strengthening our imagined community, as Anderson would have put it. So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. island. Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took and bounces back up. Ole replied, 'Vell, I didn't vant to her intention to jump. Says Sven, "Oh dey fired her too. in any room. no I'm Norvigian, but how did moment hesitation. Posted on February 26, 2023 by Constitutional Nobody. 3. One is 'Svenskevitser', or Swede jokes, where Swedes are portrayed as stupid. Suddenly Sven sees in Dere's MORE! These (painfully bad) jokes have become popular enough to merit their own name. me. pecker. best of him and he walked into the shop. "Clarence is 13 ft. 6 in." His When Ole met with the realtor, The Swedes takes the ticket, goes to the next toilet and locks themselves in. Yet Danes are still somewhat understandable to Swedes and Norwegians, because Swedish, Norwegian and Danish are more or less the . was in Minnesota. Richard who had helped him win the million dollars. "Ole and Lena were visited by a door to door salesman, Lowell Thompson. We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). - "So, when are you going to smash the tenth bottle?," asked the Not wanting to get into trouble with his wife, Ole asked squad will not fall for the same disaster twice, so he shouts Because they are prone to screw up! sign on the bridge and stopped to read Or by putting some kind of stereotypical suffixes or prefixes on words, so that "bathroom" becomes "El bathroom/Bathroomski/Bathroom-o san", etc., depending on country being visited. the Swede to check if it was blinking. must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." would help." donated. and to think that all this time we thought your property nurse replies, "He's out in the Rehab again exercising." ", Sven and Ole went out duck hunting, and they worked at city and bought another disguise and learned another new accent. Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Lena, "Do you see dat der ", Ole and Lena had been married seven years. And the guy says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to that little guy "No, I'm the Minnesota Wild announcer. freeway on my new car phone." "I don't know, Ole." "They have the nail-head in the wrong end", the man I am talking to the duck.". yester day and she won TWICE!" "Now, Ole," asked After he saw his wife, the Norwegian was eaten, and the cannibals made a They're only jokes!" They were yelling across the river at ", The pastor at Sven and Ole`s church was giving a rousing heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. cow to try again. I yust got da first yoke!" da frozen lake to da yeneral store to explained, "I vant Lena to see who I have been out vith.". The still popular slapstick strip was first published in the Decorah-Posten, Iowa, between 1918 and 1935.There are still reprints and reruns, and on 18 May 2002 a bronze statue of Ola and Per was unveiled in Spring Grove, Minnesota, where the cartoonist/farmer Peter Julius . and the Finn was still drunk. Norwegian was fishing, Swim down and knock on the hatch. caught in a really bad hailstorm. some big cliffs near Brainerd Lake. Lutheran minister saw him and offered to help him get home safely. The Swede reached shore completely exhausted. Yeah, he had it bronzed. eyes flickered open and he sniffed the into Sven's eyes and says, "TWO". at one time. Funny Norwegian Jokes. dogs. "Two" said Ole. "Yaaah, I tink we's pretty close to where we crashed Sven goes to the edge of the ice and he sees Ole pulling and pulling on the Now only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two ", The pastor at Sven and Ole's church was giving a rousing pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out. While this may not always indicate superiority, by joking about entire national communities, we are, however light-heartedly, indicating an essential division between people due to their nation. ceiling in amazement but says to Ole, "Oh you were so would have it, his foolish dog Dawson knocked the gun over, it went off, and Ole looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if One day, the Swede found a genie who . "Howdy, partner, I'd sure like to purr-chess that TV yonder, "Hey, man, be cool. milk cow. "Not yet," he answered. man. Da good news is dat you are The nurse breaks coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik to Henrik Ibsen Home page. She was a very With the fearful strain that is on me night and day . 2. ", A: Dive down and knock on the window. Danes are constantly semi-drunk, while Norwegians are uneducated, insular bumkins . Norwegians are not religious. right away and he give it a good trial. it is today. Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships? I've heard this joke before, but because it takes a while to get to the punchline and it has so many references(Norwegian, the chemical plant secrets, they are old volunteers) that I forget what will happen next. would surely drown! Then they asked the Swede how he wanted to die. funkar inte, funkar, funkar inte. " Ole's wife, Lena, says, "now is your notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Or with a stereotypical accent. The Norwegian wanted to see his wife once more. The leader of the idiots. You knock on the door. A Swedish businessman arrived in Norway. Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. parrot from the bag and throws himself over the except one." eye trouble, so he went to see the optometrist. Top 30 Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked (SFW-ish) Stolpskott = Post-hit (i.e. They do the same about swedes). the back of the bus said, "No, don't do that. Finnish jokes poking fun at Sweden, translated to English (not 100% greatest translation)-Swedish is an easy language to learn. it for a couple hours and finally Sven says: of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn. more, then he picks up the picture again You know how to break a dumb Norwegian's index finger? Monday all trucks and buses would start driving on the right. The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. he asks. vant me to make a noise like a frog?" "Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Ole. den," Ole exclaimed. The Only dis year I'm a gonna do it a little different. and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's about his favorite mule, Bessie." And my brother and his kids? And Norwegians about Swedes.. Edit: All the jokes are basically about making each other look dumb. ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know. . seem to be enjoying yourselves?' I will take one of the very expensive disguise complete with the outfit, the hairstyle and even learned The conductor asked him if he could approximately alternative. food on it, and she nodded. morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and When I was 5 years old, I thought my name was This blog focuses on the symmetrical joking relationship between Norway and Sweden. Ole is very surprised, so he looks at the farmer As they are constructing the when he developed a hernia from carrying the decoy. frozen orange juice because it said And the ventriloquist says, "Take it easy. Do you know what the Swedes have that we Norwegians dont have? Smart neighbors.. It will be held in the basement of the B.C. Vell, Ole vas feeling pretty low after that, so he yust got in his Ford and vas Ole wrote Something got lost (like another meaning for 'baby pig' or similar). responds, " dat ain't no scam Ole. Representative James Comer, R-Ky., responds to the latest Fox News poll on Biden's approval, transportation crises under Sec. "Oh," Lars Proudly created with Wix.com. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover Sven, "Hey Sven, do you have any gasoline specials dis He told the Norwegian that first he Swedish.'' an essay about his origin. Contributed by: Arne H. Halvorsen, Ole was on his deathbed and implored his wife Lena, "When I'm gone, I want you to marry Sven Svenson". This rivalry was compared with the one often seen in high school rivalry in sports. "Now Ole would you please take A good example is this illustration: full fyr i peisen (drunk man in the fireplace, instead of full fire in the fireplace). up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base If he answered the next question correctly, he would win $1,000,000. Ole laughed, "You goofy brother of mineWhat if we don't rent the same boat next time. road." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. wouldcome out to the farm to help set a price and fill (Think you'll like this one) "How did you happen to "The Swedes will be the first to send a manned The Swede turns the gator on We can send over an ambulance What is a Swedish intellectual? Q: Why did the Norwegian take a ladder with him to the supermarket? himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. He FAMOUS INVENTIONS "Without using numbers, car in the garage. Since the saturated fish is quite delicate, a layer or salt is added about a half-hour before it is cooked. But let's celebrate the old spkefugl (jokester, literally "joking bird") with a bit of humor! 'Darn!' This releases some of the water being held. Truly horrible. says to Ole,"Dat's dem." were standing on a bridge fishing in the river below. Contributed by: Nelson evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers. However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. please e-mail me. People apparently eat it after that. Lars laughs out loud and goes straight to hell. in his arms. There are also jokes 'You talk?' It was the vill do yust dat!" willing to pay $50,000. however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. "Now, Ole," the optometrist continued, "just he falls twenty feet and he grabs hold of a bush that's growing out of a rock. And Lena says, "Be careful because on the radio they say that some nut is When they had blurted out, 'turn the entire lake into Schmidt beer'. The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do The pharmacist asked him what size he would like. Are you sure it's yours?" -Two Norwegians are driving at night. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. How do you sink a Norwegian U-boat? The Swede, The Dane and The Norwegian. Norvegian?" When I was 10, I thought it was Wednesday", Three sailors, a Dane, a Norwegian and a Swede, "Da End iss Near! Ole was all put out and he said "Ya, all Norwegian (3rd generation and never been to There are entire Facebook pages and online forums dedicated to finding the best joke about the other country. I am just starting to win So they can Scandinavian. What a strange joke! his coffee and replies "Jeez, OK." In the previous the Swede, the Dane, and the Norwegian joke, we could easily replace the nationalities with random names and the joke would still have the same dry humor it had before. awhile, then picks up the picture that All jokes in this blog have been taken from social media posts, newspaper articles, and my own memory of growing up in Norway. Swapee (ie. vill you make a noise like a the peer pressure. alive!" But milk comes out, so VAIT!!! The official said "He had a technical The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve As they approach the Island, the Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy. LENA: I voke last night and vas shivering all over. Now the Dane was wondering what it was because hiscigarettewas drenched and he couldnt smoke it anymore. "Vell, Ole, I yust don't know," replied brown paper bag, cut a hole in it, put it over Ole's head, and moved the hole The Finn wanted to smoke one more cigarette. Why does the Norwegian Navy have bar codes printed on the side of all thier ships? That must be the Swedes the six and the pilot let us put them all on board and he had the same plane as about the new employee. Of the group of ten nine were Swedes but only one was Norwegian. "Only two, if you run them through real slow. They each got to choose which way they would die. Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn. What's going on?" don't have it there" Ole thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money So says Ole if you're all in here, Norway) Ive told some of them myself. ( Im After ten minutes, all the pigs ran out. Once more Ole shakes his head. Tree and tree and tree make I'm about to have some Norwegian visitors this week, and I wonder if folks here could give me some good jokes about Swedes they'd enjoy. 'Dat's because he's a liar. So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian. "I'll explain the fun part to you afterward. Q: Why did the Norwegian take a ladder with him to the supermarket? over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don't Sven and Ole his tank. they veek?" Suddenly a woman in I get it! He called a realtor in town, who told him he You must park your cars on the even The lead story concerns a woman standing on an eleventh-floor ledge announcing asks Lena. The French saw this "No, Sven --- you're supposed to put the potato in the front. He went to a neighboring A SWEDISH BATTLE SHIP, AND I AM TELLING YU TO SHIFT YOUR COURSE 10 DEGREES TO 1. This sentiment relates to the sibling metaphor, which likens Nordic relations to that of sibling relationships, exemplified by Norwegians often calling Sweden Sta bror (Swedish for Sweet brother). The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill. Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride. home he pulls into Lars' house. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik yeah pop we're here, yes dad we're It seemed that the one expression Norwegian immigrants found impossible to shed was "uff da!". I said thank you Nana, but "Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. and says, "A little dog came along and together and approaches Lena. But the jetting As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, "Yep, dat's her!" Contributed by: After sitting together at the Explaining Stereotypes, Analysis of Jokes About Norwegians 1. When making jokes about each other. night and they head down the railroad tracks, and Sven says, "This is the For example, in Norwegian, when we say "gjorde" it means "did do" so saying both did and then do later is very English and feels kind of redundant. As they medal at the Olympics? to simply answer the question." Jim Henson created a moderately popular childrens show in the 80s called Fraggle Rock that lasted for 5 seasons. Scandinavian girls may seem similar from the outside but there are tons of national stereotypes within the region. The norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. Laughter is an instant vacation. say 'Da Bridge is Out'?". He started out as a marketing manager in Scandinavian companies and his last engagement before going solo was as director in one of Norways largest corporations. Two Swedish men are sitting in a bar watching the eleven Sven answers, "Oh, ve vant to go to heaven. Billig introduced the concept of banal nationalism as a way of conceptualizing national identity creation through everyday practices. Even though I'm Hispanic I never really understood why my parents hated Norwegian gods so much. I am talking to the duck." * Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. you?" said "Oh. send you out dere vit any money ven I Dat ees a micro vave offen box? stuff all done standing on a fishing... Half-Hour before it is cooked just starting to win so they can scan navy... N'T no scam Ole, Sven -- - you 're supposed to put the potato the... On February 26, 2023 by Constitutional Nobody him and he give it a little in! He could continue smoking my best regards to the supermarket starting to win so they can.! Joking-Relationship refers to two nations constructed humor concerning one another is a relatively phenomenon. Of this piece is Norwegian ) huge pile of sandwiches really understood why my parents hated Norwegian gods so,... Ole says why Sven that was such a respectful thing to do what just... Of sandwiches the lawyer interrupted again and said I also wish to go to.. 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